Great start to the new year with our play time with Jerry, which you will all have read, however now have to wait 3 weeks for our next meet due to diary mismatch. We desperately hoped it would be sooner, but that was not to be. Still all are interested and the texts that we have received from him all positive, but we are very impatient having started something off and gagging for more. Sarah is very horny and I just can't satisfy her on my own. But......
On the very plus side we have a date with Ian. Yes you read correctly. After seven months of cyber sex he has finally committed to see us, and amazingly it is the week after Jerry. Sarah decided to take the Bull by the horns (no pun intended) and texted him to ask if he was available and serious about getting something going. He said yes !! No cyber sex for Sarah this time, but relief that we will finally meet. Sarah says that she was very firm in her texts and that he likely realised that if he did not commit then we would move on. Ian was apologetic for not delivering in January as promised, so we will see. This is the first time we have got him to commit and Sarah is nervous that something will get in the way. We are not holding our breath and this is the absolute last chance.
My concern is that the heat has gone from the relationship. Ian and I were having some amazing Bull/Cuck emails and he really got in my head. However, it has been three months since our aborted pint and the spark has gone. I am sure we can easily get it back again if one of us swallows his pride and reaches out. If not then our drink at the end of the month could be tenser than Sarah would like. Knowing her she will be more than ready for her snog and grope !!!
Game plan is to have Jerry for threesomes and Ian as our Bull, however, heated debates in our house around Sarah needing a bigger stable and especially a BBC. Sarah is keen to enjoy the two men that are entering her life and I am the greedy one wanting her to have three or four lovers on the go at once.
It is now a month since we started this blog, so it seems a good time for me to give you my thoughts on the journey, having now watched Sarah snog three men and have sex with one of them. There have been many twists and turns since we began exploring this lifestyle last summer. I have gone from desperately wanting this, to moments of insane jealousy, as depicted in our page entitled 'Ed's story - part 2' . However, I have come out the other side, and now feel very centred. Intense communication with Sarah with the ultimate development of our 'Cuckold-Hotwife Contract' set some well needed boundaries, and enabled us to build a greater level of trust.
This, and the later threesome with Jerry, collectively enabled me to get to this more positive space. Sarah allowing, not to mention Jerry actively encouraging, my paticipation in the play, enabled my intimate involvment in my wife's pleasure. I had feared exclusion due to the risk that Sarah might inadvertantly take sole enjoyment, and it was this fear that drove my jealousy the night that she saw Ed on her own. Had the relationhip developed to become sexual, I am convinced Ed and Sarah would only have tolerated me watching. In fact I am starting to believe that many prospective Bulls will only tolerate to the husband being present if that's what it takes to go to bed with the wife.
This is where Ian like Jerry was different. Even though the plan was for me to be a compliant Cuck with Ian, as opposed to the active participant that Jerry encouraged from me, Ian still managed to find a way of including me and giving me a role, as discussed in the blog 'The Perfect Bull'. Even though I was sit in the corner and watch, not being allowed involvement until Ian had completely finished, at no point did I feel that my presence would only be tolerated. Be that as it may, I was still unsure if I was ready for subservient Cuckoldry, and it was the fully inclusive experience with Jerry that completely relaxed me. Knowing that I would share Sarah's sexual experience in the form of threesomes with Jerry, meant I would be more willing to back off and take the role of a compliant Cuckold in another area of our sexual experimentation.
I have just finished reading Sperm Wars by Robin Baker, which I strongly recommend and is available on Amazon. This groundbreaking book outlines the biological aspects of the human sex game. Baker believes that the female body seeks one type of man to marry and provide her with a supportive loving home life, and another, Alpha male type, for her breeding activity. In addition to that I have long believed that it takes more than one man to satisfy a woman completely, so Baker's proposal that a woman could be attracted to several men really chimed with me. As you know Sarah loved the threesome with Jerry, despite her original misgivings for threesomes, and this proves my point. So, I am now very focused on ensuring Sarah has the best time when we are playing. It is my opinion that the Hotwife/Cuckold life is all about the lady's pleasure and I am determined to continue the journey in this vein. Whilst I still would like personal sexual experiences myself, I seem to be getting way more pleasure from arranging and watching Sarah's fun. With age creeping up on me coupled with the fact that I am married to a much younger, insatiable MILF, it makes sense that I would need to explore alternative sexual activities.