The increasing desires for domination (part 3)

That night Dale and I had a number of offers from black men for some fun, although there was nobody who, on first impressions, I considered worth sleeping with. I knew Dale was annoyed with me for being too fussy. But at the end of the night we got talking to a man called Chris. He had realised I needed more persuasion, and perhaps thought the investment of a bit more time would be worth the prize. He chatted to us for a considerable length of time, taking a softer, more gentle approach than some of these Bulls. I wondered if I should reward Chris for his patience, but more importantly if I should give my husband the treat he'd been hoping for all night.

Master Jay soon took the decision away from me. I wound up sitting on the sofa in between Jason and Chris, and Jason was clearly going to use this opportunity to turn me into the 'black cock whore' he and Dale had dreamt about way back in November. As both men stroked my thighs, Jason asked if Chris and I had kissed. I told him that I hadn't had his permission. Oddly (or perhaps naturally) I didn't feel I needed Dale's consent. Permission was duly granted by Master Jay, and whilst in Chris's arms, Jason pulled up my dress, pushed my knickers to one side, and started to finger me.

This was going well until another black guy crashed in uninvited, and started wanking at my head. Thankfully, Jason realised my discomfort and dealt with the situation. He then resumed fingering me. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Jason instruct Chris to put his fingers in my pussy. Discretely Jason's fingers were replaced with Chris's, and they swapped places. Jason was now kissing me, and exploring my body with his hands. Then he looked at me intently with his hazel eyes, and told me what I good girl I was, and how pleased he was with me. Master Jay doesn't dish out compliments liberally, so my pride swelled, and I hoped Dale would be please with me too.

As usual it wasn't long before Dale was bored, and wanted his next fix. He unzipped my dress and removed my bra, so that both my two men could enjoy me more. With my knickers pushed to one side and dress around my waist, I enjoyed Chris kneeling on the floor eating my pussy, whilst Jason sucked my nipples and pulled on the piercings. Dale held my hand throughout, stroking my cheek from time to time, in order to give me both comfort and encouragement. I was starting to wonder if we should go somewhere more private, so I could fuck Chris under Jason's instruction. Unfortunately, the beginnings of this threesome were brought to an abrupt end when Jason got called away. With Jason gone I immediately lost interest in Chris - at the end of the day, I need the psychological excitement to enjoy sex.

Being dominated by Master Jay that night was an experience that had fulfilled so many of my deepest darkest fantasies, and I was fast realising that I could become addicted to submitting myself to a Dom. I spent the weekend racking my brain for a way to become a submissive on a more permanent basis, but still maintain an inclusive role for Dale that he finds acceptable. At the moment there is no obvious solution. The best I can come up is to carry on as I am, enjoying the occasional D/s experience when I am lucky enough to get it. The advantage of not formalising an arrangement with a Dom is that Dale and I keep our sexual freedom, but the flip side is that a domination experience may be few and far between and certainly not guaranteed. If Dale and I were to be Master Jay's cuckold couple, I know he would be a completely devoted Dom Bull, a privaledge I don't get as his occasional plaything. But at what cost?

Jason annoyed me a few days later, when he told me that everybody could see that I wanted to be his 'married bitch'. I was itching to tell him how much he wanted me to be his married bitch. But I bit my tongue. I've long realised that it is futile to argue with him. Besides I know that would not be very submissive of me! He also told me that he won't fuck me unless it's bareback and in my marital bed. I am well aware that if and when that happens, then I will be well and truly owned and collared, and there will be nothing I can do about it!

On a positive note, my 'sub' talents obviously made an impression, because over the course of the week that followed, in addition to much BBC interest for NSA fun, Dale and I had two very surprising invitations. The first was from a former Dom, now cuck. It seems upon meeting Dale and myself, memories of his previous life were rekindled, and Dale has received an offer for us to be this man's cuckold couple. The second proposition was from another married white guy, normally a voyeur, but with dreams of becoming a Dom. After seeing me in action last week, he asked me to consider becoming his sub!

Obviously life doesn't work like that. Whereas it is relatively easy to find a fuck buddy, the unique chemistry required for a D/s relationship is much rarer, so I cannot see myself accepting either of these offers. But I was intrigued to learn that others are also seeing in me what Jason sees.

And I wait with relish to find out where the next stage of our journey will take us....

The increasing desires for domination (part 2)

Master Jay took me by the hand and led me downstairs to the dungeon. Dale followed. My excitement and anticipation was rising fast. For so long it had been my fantasy for a man, other than my husband, to whip me. It's not that Dale doesn't do a good job of this, and he certainly knows how to build me up me to the high state of sexual excitement where extreme painful stimulation is perceived as extreme sexual pleasure. But there is something missing when my husband and I indulge in D/s play; the thrill that can only be provided by the forbidden and the unknown. The thrill of having a stranger beat me.

No, perhaps not quite a stranger. But someone I know well enough to trust, but not that well. Someone I am fond of but don't love. And of course someone whom I respect as in charge, because that is the dynamic of that relationship. Within an equal marriage, such as mine and Dale's, D/s can only be role-play. I need something more real.

Master Jay is the perfect dungeon keeper. As he gently bent me over the high bench for my punishment, as though I were a captive under his care, I did not know what he would expect me to endure. But I felt complete trust, like a prisoner with Stockholm Syndrome, as I waited compliantly for my beating. 

The timely release of the film '50 Shades of Grey' caused me to reflect on want I want from a D/s relationship. Although it was this novel that first got me interested in BDSM, I could never get my head around the love aspect of the story. For me, the thrill comes from the taboo of giving myself in such a trusting way to someone I hardly know, where there is an emotional divide. And I don't mean there is no emotion in a D/s relationship. Indeed there is intense emotion. Readers of this blog will know how I used to feel about Ian; how addictive that emotion was, how it became an all-consuming obsession. No, the emotional divide in my experience of D/s relationships is due to the absence of vanilla love. The experience with Ian was intense, and sometimes heartbreaking, but I never loved him. And I don't love Jason either. For me personally, there is no place for vanilla love in a D/s relationship.

I did not know what instrument Master Jay would use to beat me, but I saw out of the corner of my eye, the leather flogger. This is not a piece of equipment that Dale and I possess, as we prefer the riding crop, but I knew that it is a favourite of Jason's. Once I had assumed position, he commanded me to put my head down on the bench, then with my bottom exposed to an audience, he started to tickle and lightly graze my cheeks with the tips of the leather strings. When I was accustomed to the sensation he tested me with some light lashes across my arse cheeks. Every now and then, he yielded the flogger extra hard causing me to yelp in pain. My tolerance was rewarded each time by him embracing and fondling my body, as he kissed me and told me I was a good girl. Then he would return to whipping me, each time building up the energy behind each stroke until it became too much again. During one of the breaks, Jason slid my lace knickers to one side and pushed a couple of fingers inside me. I raised my head to look behind me, feeling self conscious that my pussy was probably on display for all to see. "Put your head back down" Dale warned. I resumed submissive position as Jason finger fucked me hard. He then licked his finger, before continuing with the beating with ever increasing severity.

Eventually I started to come down off my high, and realised my cheeks were smarting. Jason must have realised I'd taken enough, as he put his flogger down and gave me a final kiss and cuddle on the bench. As he embraced me I sucked his fingers for comfort, and realised they tasted of my pussy juices.

Dale told me later that the beating went on for the best part of an hour. So it did not surprise me to hear that his butterfly personality got the better of him, and in his boredom wandered off and found other people to talk to. The sub space that Jason got me into, meant I have no recollection of the event continuing for so long, and had assumed that Dale stayed by my side the entire time. My memory of the experience is like a dream, although towards the end I did become acutely aware of how hard Jason was hitting me. The sounds the instrument made as it swished through the air and landed on my arse, suggested a force that would inflict incredible pain had it been dished out cold, and I had some very satisfactory bruising that I admired in the mirror for some days afterwards.

The increasing desires for domination (part 1)

For weeks I had been looking forward to Master Jay's party. It sounded like it was going to be an awesome event. But I was also excited about seeing Jason again, and was secretly hoping to continue where we had left off in at his January party. I knew I shouldn't get my hopes up though. Firstly he had said he rarely plays at his own parties. Secondly he always maintains that he will own us full on as his cuck couple, or not at all. I had told him how I felt about him, with regards to my 'sub feelings', but he was also aware that Dale had lost interest. And this, he had informed me, considerably changed the goal posts! Since that discussion he had backed off somewhat. So, although I had hoped Jason would play with me again, I was well aware that I might just have to settle for platonic friendship. 

I was also having doubts about whether I really truly wanted to be owned. When we first met Jason, back in November, nothing was happening for us, so his proposal was extremely tempting. And for me, it continues to be an appealing and very exciting idea. But since then, Dale and I have had a lot of fun with Mark who is keen for a repeat, and we are also back in communication with Ian. In addition we have been in contact with other party organisers. With the potential fun on the horizon for Dale and myself, I would have to question the benefits of giving all that up, in order to surrender ourselves into ownership with Master Jay. And even if Jason were to convince me, Dale would never agree to losing our sexual freedom, something we hadn't fully appreciated when we first discussed this arrangement with Jason.

In truth, I too, despite my increasing desires for domination, was going off the idea of being someone's permanent submissive. As an alternative I was starting to toy with the idea of having occasional D/s experiences. Ironically, this was probably all Ian had ever wanted from me anyway - he probably would have been very happy to dominate me for a night, then leave us to live our lives. It was me who had wanted more. But I was now interested in Jason, who sadly, was unlikely to accept me on this 'part time' basis.

But what I really really wanted from Jason, in my deeper fantasies, was to be tied up and whipped with a riding crop. Readers of this blog will know that I had historically wanted Ian to do this. But Ian was not really interested in this aspect of BDSM, nor had ever done it. And now that I had gone off Ian as a Dom, my increasing fantasies around domination involved Master Jay taking me to the dungeon, undressing me down to my knickers, tying my hands behind my back and beating me in front of everyone. Oh wow!!! My thoughts were becoming more advanced - all I had wanted from Ian was to be whipped in front of Dale in the privacy of our bedroom!

I was terribly nervous upon arrival at the party. I had put a considerable amount of time and effort into my appearance so that Jason could not resist playing with me. Unfortunately he was nowhere to be seen. We had met his primary sub upon arrival and she seemed very nice. It wasn't until we were being given a tour of the club by another guest, that we finally came across Jason. He was delighted to see me, and when he leant in close to kiss my cheek, his hand dropped down and skimmed my arse. He put his head through the door to the foyer where his sub was greeting guests, and asked if we had all met. Then I heard him say jokingly to her "have you scratched her eyes out yet?" Oh, I thought, what kind of pillow talk has been taking place about me?

Jason seemed put out that someone else was showing us around and not him. He then looked at me with pleasant surprise, and enthused about how gorgeous I looked - I don't think he had expected me to pull it off! He kissed me again, and this time his hand fondled my bottom purposefully, making it clear to the black man showing us around that I was his. I knew then that Jason had every intention of playing with me that night, and had come with that intention!

Sometime later we ran into Jason again. Deciding it was playtime, he took my hand and I obediently followed him to a room, with Dale tagging along behind. There were a couple of women on the bed being serviced by a number of black men, whilst their hubbies looked on. There were also other black men on the sidelines hoping for an invite to the fun. I knew Dale hoped that one day it would be me being serviced on the bed by numerous black men.

I leant against the wall and Jason started giving me teasing kisses. Eventually he couldn't take it any more and engulfed me passionately, his tongue exploring my mouth and hands exploring my body. He slipped his fingers underneath my knickers, and the sound of his breathing couldn't fail to hide his enjoyment. "Am I wet?" I asked him. "You are always wet for me" he murmured gruffly into my ear. Then he said with an edge,  "aren't you? You are always wet for me." He held onto my hair, and I said "yes Jason". Then he said softly again, but increasing his grip on my hair "I know you think about me all the time." His  seductive voice was like liquid honey, and I melted into the trappings of sub space as his fingers slid about in my sopping pussy. 

I couldn't resist touching the bulge in his trousers. I toyed with his zip, wondering whether to explore further, so he removed his cock for me and placed my hand on it. I started to feel some pressure on my head as he tried to push me down for a blowjob. I quickly came back to earth. I didn't want this. I didn't want to suck cock in front of lots of people, and despite the sexual attraction with Jason, I didn't want to get too intimate with him. I feared if we went too far, he would inevitably own me. I became very nervous, and Dale took me out of the room to calm down.

Upon return I was welcomed back by Jason. He embraced me against the wall, and firmly reassured me that he would look after me. I told him I didn't want him to fuck me, but I wanted him to whip me. He resumed kissing and fondling me, but before long, I had to share him with another Hotwife. I stood on the sidelines with Dale, and Jason watched me intently, as he moved his hands over her voluptuous body. I didn't take my eyes of him once. It wasn't long before he couldn't resist coming back to me, and he asked if he had made me jealous. I confirmed that he had, and he said "that's why I did it". "As long as you only kiss me' I told him possessively. Jason gave a dirty laugh, and kissed me ardently.

The jealously had turned me on so much, that in the heightened passion I bit Jason's neck. He pulled back shocked, and stared at me. His light hazel eyes, so incongruous against his dark olive skin and black hair, bore into me. OMG I thought, what's he going to do to me? Jason said nothing, kissed me again, then turned me around. I was bent over the bed, had my dress pushed up around my waist, and I was made to endure my first spanking from Master Jay. It was delicious. I had wanted him to do that for so long!

When he'd finished he sat next to me on the edge of the bed and cuddled me. Then I started to feel the hand of another man stroking my thigh. Jason was true to his word about looking after me, and promptly removed the uninvited hand. He then pushed me flat on the bed, and lay on top of me. I wrapped my legs around him, whilst he told me that he would fuck me one day, and that one day I would belong to him.

His voice was filled with urgency and wanting, and I stopped worrying about the outcome and just enjoyed. As Jason was whispering to me, Dale left the room to get water. Jason continued telling me that I was his, and I was to do as I'm told. It was so sexy. I drifted back into sub space, as he entered deep into the dark recesses of my mind, where even Ian hasn't managed to go.

Then Jason said he will only ever fuck me bareback. My senses started  to return. I told him we can't do it bare, because I'm not on the pill at the moment. He seemed annoyed at me spoiling the fantasy, and told me emphatically that he would breed me, and that I was to do as he said. I kept objecting and he kept repeating what would happen, until I could argue no more.

"There's something between us, and you feel it too" he told me firmly. Does that mean, I wondered, that this is fate, and that eventually I will end up being owned by Master Jay, however much I fight it?

Dale returned. He was clearly bored to see us still lying entwined on the bed, so decided to initiate some more action. He told Jason that I wanted him to take me to the dungeon.....

Party time - by Dale

The next event on our sexual journey in 2015, was another party organised by Master Jay. This event was on a larger scale than the small private party at the beginning of the year, and was held at a swingers club in London.

We were greeted at the door by Jason's primary sub, whom we had heard all about and were meeting for the first time that night. We then moved upstairs for a glass of fizz with other sexy guests. In my opinion, Sarah was by far the best looking woman in the club, and one could feel all the men undressing her with their eyes. We were disappointed that Jason was nowhere to be seen, as he had promised introduce us to other players. We were, however, immediately intercepted by a BBC that we had communicated with in the days leading up, and glasses in hand, we were escorted around the premises and shown all the playrooms.

On our way to the basement we finally bumped into Master Jay himself, who seemed somewhat put out that he had missed his chance to be our tour guide. Jason enthusiastically greeted Sarah, giving her a welcoming kiss and grope on the ass. Sarah playfully told him off for not being there when we arrived, and I noticed his ire rise. I took Sarah's hand and moved on, but could  hear Jason growling a warning to our escort to keep his hands off. We could see the crestfallen look descend upon our guide, as he had just spent the last fifteen minutes flirting shamelessly with Sarah, and clearly had some plans in store. He completed our tour, but kept a respectful distance thereafter. We once again realised that Master Jay is ring-master at his parties, and all his Bulls tow the line when in his presence.

After our tour we headed back up to the bar where we enjoyed another glass of bubbly.  We got talking to a attractive blond MILF who was there with her hubby. She was more experienced than us and had been at a few of Jason's parties.  While I was getting our glasses filled, the MILF took the chance to proposition Sarah. Although Sarah often talks about exploring her lesbian tendencies, she wasn't quite ready to take the plunge yet, so politely declined. But our evening was off to a promising start. 

We went to explore the club some more, chatting to various people along the way. Before long we caught up with Master Jay. He was clearly ready for some fun, and immediately took Sarah by the hand and led her to a room. I followed dutifully behind. The room was called the cuck and Bull room, aimed at couples looking for a BBC to entertain their wife. Inside, two women were well underway. One blond MILF was eagerly gobbling up a BBC, and it wasn't long before another joined their fun. The best entertainment was a gorgeous brunette being thoroughly serviced by a fit black man, whilest her husband stood by the bed playing with himself.

Jason positioned Sarah against the wall and proceeded to expertly seduce her. I hugely enjoyed the sight. As Jason passionately kissed my wife and gently caressed her, I was reminded of the enjoyment I had watching them the last time. Sarah seemed to be enjoying this session even more, throwing herself shamelessly at Master Jay, responding to his every touch like a bitch in heat. It wasn't long, however, before Sarah became overwhelmed. I guess wasn't ready for him taking his cock out and trying to push her to her knees in front of everybody, although I was secretly willing her to get stuck in! On her becoming anxious, Jason suggested I take her out of the room. I quickly managed to get her on an even keel, and within minutes she was gagging to get back to Master Jay!

Picking up where they left off, Sarah was quickly coaxed back into horniness. After some very ardent kissing and groping, including her squatting on his hand for a good fingering, Master Jay bent her over the bed. Lifting up her lace dress, he administered a spanking to her ample backside which she clearly loved. By now Sarah was well and truely away. They put on a good show for the others in the room, including the husband of the brunette on the bed, who later confessed he is a voyeur and loved every minute. Once Sarah was sated, Jason lay her done gently and climbed on top of her for a cuddle. Sarah instinctively wrapped her legs around him. I took this moment to go back to the bar and replenish our drinks. Whilst away I reflected on how well things were going, and hoped that Sarah was finally turning into a true slut Hotwife. 

At the bar I recalled Sarah's desire for Jason to take her to the dungeon. This would be a new experience for her, and one that she was keen to explore.  Upon my return to the cuck and Bull room, Sarah and Jason were still entwined on the bed whispering softly to each other. Definately time to move things on, I thought. So I put the dungeon request to Jason, who immediately leapt off the bed and enthusiastically led us there. 

On entering the dungeon, and without any hesitation, Sarah was willingly positioned on a padded bench; head down, ass in the air, in a standard submissive position. Jason pushed her dress up to her waist, and began lightly grazing her ass cheeks with a leather flogger. This once again exposed her black lace panties and white ass cheeks to the assembled crowd. Jason continued to smack, flog, caress, and whip Sarah for the best part of the next hour, and she willingly submitted. This punishment was interspersed with loving words and gentle touches, whenever she seemed to be struggling with the pain. The dungeon was charged with sexual excitement, as Jason's primary sub was also being similarly beaten by a dominatrix. Another couple were enjoying the delights of the cane. From time to time Sarah's disobedience got the better of her, and she would raise her head to look around, only to have her head forced back down. At each transgression she had to endure an extra brutal whack of the flogger to her ever increasing red behind.

It wasn't long before word got round of what was happening in the dungeon, and the crowd swelled to about thirty people all eager to see the subs being disciplined. Sarah came off worst, as she had not yet learnt how to respect her Dom. By contrast Jason's primary sub bravely submitted and took her beaten from the dominatrix without flinching. Eventually Jason decided enough was enough for Sarah's first trip to the dungeon. He left us together to recover, whist he went off to play with yet another willing victim. 

I took Sarah upstairs for a much needed drink and relax. We watched some of the other Hotwives being serviced by black bulls, then after a while headed back to the dungeon. But by then all subs had been attended to, and the dungeon was empty.  We ended up in the basement with another couple and Jason. The BBCs do seem very good at sniffing out the MILFs, and one that we had spoken to earlier, reappeared started to chat Sarah. I could tell Chris wasn't really her type, and she was struggling to connect, but Jason came to the rescue.

With Jason now sitting next to Sarah on the sofa, she relaxed and once again started getting turned on. He wasted no time in stroking her thigh and leaning in for another kiss. The play started again, as his hand explored her body, and his tongue moved in and out of her mouth. Sarah melted in his arms. The hopeful Chris positioned himself on Sarah's other side, and started mirroring Jason's every move. As I held Sarah's hand, Jason skillfully kept Sarah on edge, and encouraged Chris to get more involved. I particularly remember Jason, whilst fingering her, looking across at Chris and tellinghim to put his hand on Sarah's freshly shaved pussy. Without Sarah realising Jason had discreatly replaced his fingers with Chris's, who took over pleasuring Sarah with equal expertise.

She seemed quite happy with the beginnings of this threesome. It looked like she was finally going to give herself to another black cock, and take another step in her journey to becoming my ultimate fantasy for her, of a black cock whore. Ever impatient, I suggested I undo Sarah's dress and and remove her bra to, which Jason exclaimed "well now we're getting somewhere!" I was delighted to see Jason and Chris's eyes widen at the sight of her firm pert tits and pierced nipples. Within seconds they were each on a breast sucking furiously. Despite all the play with Jason, this was actually the first time Sarah had been topless for him, and he clearly was impressed with the offering.

Sadly, all this happened very late, and as the club was about to close, Jason was called away, leaving Chris munching on her pussy. Sarah quickly lost interest now that Jason was no longer there to provided the psychological excitement, and I knew this was only headed one way.  As Chris was not picking up on her body language, it was up to me to step in and bring the proceedings to a conclusion.

Shortly after that, we said our goodbyes and called it a night. And what a night it had been!!

The floodgates open with a BBC - by Dale

I had been trying to encourage Sarah for many years to sample the delights of a BBC. As readers of my Twitter account will know, Sarah had been almost BBC exclusive for the best part of ten years, prior to meeting me, and had mistakingly thought, she had had her fill. However she was misguided. Master Jay had very kindly put us in touch with the stunning Mark, and from all we had seen it looked like all my Christmases were about to come at once !!! The pictures we had seen showed a stunningly fit body, a gorgeous face, and a real twinkle in his eye. And most importantly he did not include any cock shots, which would have offended Sarah from the start!

We agreed to meet at a swanky roof top bar in London, and unlike many of our past dates with BBCs, he was on time, at the bar waiting for us, and immediately offered to buy Sarah and I a drink. We were off to a great start, and all Sarah's boxes were being ticked. The conversation flowed naturally and we soon found out that this urbane, well dressed gentleman had been born in Africa, but brought up in the States, and had lived in many places throughout the world. I thought we had died and gone to heaven. 

Over a couple of drinks we discussed backgorunds, journeys and expectations. Mark and Sarah got closer together and more flirtatious. Eventually I couldn't take it any more and suggested that we head back to our hotel room for some fun. Mark held Sarah's hand throughout the short walk, as I led the way. In the lift Mark could wait no longer, and turning to Sarah, kissed her, and let his hands wander over her body. What a sight it was for me watching from the other side of the lift, and seeing their reflection in the mirrors!

In the hotel room Mark wasted no time, and immediately tore Sarah's clothes from her body. Perhaps quicker than I would have liked, but this BBC meant business. With camera to hand, to capture every minute, I stood back and led them have their fun.

Mark proved to be a love machine, and for the next four hours, pounded Sarah non-stop. This young black stud had her in every position, and seemed to have an unending thirst for sex. The contrast of their skin was truly amazing; Sarah's milky white body lying under this dark velvety god, and seeing her legs and arms wrapped around him was sheer bliss for me. The one thing that really sticks out in my mind though was whenever Mark took a breather from fucking her, he used his fingers to make her gush like an oilwell. This technique and outcome was a new experience for both of us, and the e effect of the floodgates opening only infamed him more, as each time his cock was back inside her for another bought of vigorous sex.

After an exhausting and highly pleasurable four hours of non-stop fucking, Sarah was left satisfied and realising that I had been completely right. In my opinion Sarah only deserves being pleasured by a BBC, and we will definately arrange a repeat.

Obsession addiction - the spell broken

When I started this blog at the beginning of 2013, I published a number of pages summarising our story to date. This included how the, at the time, six month cyber affair with Ian, quickly became an obsessive addiction. As our story with Ian evolved over the next twelve months, it became clear that my obsessive addiction for Ian was showing no signs waning

After a year and a half of communication with this frustrating man, we have become used to his peculiar habits; episodes of enthusiastic text banter, followed by unexplained disappearances where text messages are ignored. The autumn of 2014 was a very long period of minimal communication, to the point that I decided it was time to call it a day. We got involved with Jason, but when that relationship didn't work out, I tried again with Ian. It is a lottery as to whether we catch him at a time when he's not busy, but in mid December luck seemed to be on my side. Ian and I resumed our text message relationship, and it was as though the previous three months of silence had never happened. In fact, Ian's such a flake, he probably had no concept of how much time had gone by. Plans were made for him to come to our house in January, and I was thinking about re opening discussions for a D/s relationship.

But his failure to confirm a date for early January, followed by yet another disappearance for the entire Christmas period, was yet another reminder that we are probably wasting our time. But this time it did not upset me. It merely served to irritate!

So when Jason kissed me at his party last month, it would have been like shooting a sitting duck. I was already going off Ian, Jason just had to finish the job by catching that emotion whilst it was free. Historically I would have forgiven Ian and gone back to yearning to be his sub. This time, a real Dom was standing in the way!

I had started to go into sub space when Jason was kissing me. He didn't get me completely there because I was so nervous. He also told me later that week that he had deliberately held back because he knew I wasn't ready. Even so the feeling, in the early hours of Saturday morning was  strangely euphoric, and I didn't come off my high until Sunday night. For the first time in a year and a half I was no longer thinking about Ian, who, until I met Jason, had been the only man capable of having this hypnotic effect on me.

Then on the Monday after the holiday break, Ian reappeared into existance. Dale told me that he'd received a text message from him, as usual expressing his apologies for his 'late response' quote unquote. But other than a little bit of restored pride, I felt nothing. I was still thinking about Jason. Then I realised my sub feelings had transferred directly to Master Jay! Not that Ian was much use to us anyway - it seemed he had not been well and was due an operation that would put him 'out of commission'! 

I would like to explain what I mean by 'sub feelings'. I am not talking about feelings associated with vanilla relationships. It is not love, affection or infatuation, however I'm not saying that these more typical emotions cannot accompany sub emotions. Indeed, as time went by I certainly became infatuated with Ian, although personally  the love emotion in a D/s relationship doesn't wash with me. No, the feelings I am talking about are very different from vanilla emotions, and I believe are as a direct result of the way these men play with my mind.  Ian's technique is seductive, purely designed to entice a woman into bed. Jason is similar, but there us a greater focus on domination than seduction. Either way, the effect is exquisite. 

I knew that becoming Jason's sub was not a realistic possibility for numerous reasons, despite what had happened at the party. But that was not the point. What was important was that my desire to submit to Jason has released me from the obsessive addiction with the most hypnotically seductive man I was ever likely to meet. It didn't matter that I now had sub feelings for Jason. I can handle Jason, and Jason would never lead me on the way Ian did. Besides this time I wasn't caught unawares - I was able to harness those feelings before they got out of control.

Dale's current view of Ian was slightly different than mine. He still harboured much affection for him. It has always been obvious to me that there is a connection between Dale and Ian that does not exist between Dale and Jason. So although my fantasies now revolved round being Jason's sub instead of Ian's, Dale still hankered after a three-way relationship with Ian.

One month on, Ian has now had his operation and is recuperating. Whilst off work he has had time to indulge in some lengthy and very enjoyable sexting with both of us. For Dale it's like old times, and he is very happy.

But for me? Yes I would like to see him again. I would particularly look forward to another hypnotic seduction. And most importantly I would thoroughly enjoy him making love to me again. And why not? He's hot in bed! I never said the sexual attraction was gone. It's just that with all the bullshit he's put us through, don't think I will ever have sub feelings for him again. And I certainly no longer hanker after being dominated by him.

The spell is finally broken. When I fantasise about being dominated, it is only Jason....

Confessions of an Alpha Cuck (part 3) - by Dale

Just a quick note to add to Sarah's blog 'back in the saddle and holding the reigns', which gives her perspective on Master Jay's party in early January.

I have been to a number of sex parties in my time, but never one in a hotel room, although I have seen many films with this theme. As you can imagine we were both really looking forward to it for various reasons. There had been some banter in the bar beforehand but not too much overt sexuality. Jason was the perfect host at all times, and demonstrated none of the aggression I felt came across in texts  messages. His friends were really nice and we all seemed to gel, so it looked like a good night was ahead. 

As described by Sarah, we all went to the room in dribs and drabs, and by the time Jason took us up  proceedings were well under way. What caught my immediate attention was the sight of one of the wives on the bed enjoying the attention of two black studs.  One of them had been eyeing up Sarah downstairs, and the other must have bypassed the bar and gone straight to the fun. What an amazing sight as this Hotwife threw herself totally into the action and took each cock in every hole. But wait.... shortly after we arrived, another BBC knocked at the door, stripped off and immediately joined the action.  What a lucky girl she was ! So as you can see the background entertainment was way better than a porn film, and immediately got me interested and horny. She was a woman after my own heart, and behaving very much in a manner that I have long dreamt of for Sarah. I will keep nudging my wife in this direction Readers - maybe one day???

Sarah has described all the attention that Jason was paying her. Yes, as always, I found it very very exciting to see my wife enjoying herself with another man.  My cock stood firmly to attention throughout, desperate for some fun. Of course had Master Jay had his way, I would have been firmly caged and straining to get out ! In a text the next day thanking him for his hospitality, I expressed how desperate I had been to join in, and was firmly put in my place !! I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I would at most be using my mouth to only clean the Hotwives, and no more !!!!

Yes yes, I know that this was a Mandingo party and the white bois were just there to watch and support. However Master Jay's reprimand was another reminder that I am not your typical sissy cuck. I don't know if I'm naughty boy, who should be made to stand in the corner with a cage, or if this is my inner Dom looking to get out and have some fun !!

In the week that followed, Sarah had quite an active discussion with Jason. It was a continuation of an earlier dispute, based on his view that it is Sarah who is preventing my development as the true cuck he believes me to be. As I have felt throughout, I continue to maintain that Jason's assessment of my character is not entirely accurate. I am very complex in my needs and desires, and Sarah is well aware that there is a fine line in keeping my emotions well balanced. She has learnt the hard way that it is best to at least give me the impression that I am in charge, and when there is a breakdown of my sense of control she know very well how in can all go wrong. It is true that am hugely interested in cuckoldry, and I had an amazing time that night, an experience I would relish repeating. But the cuckold experience is not enough to satisfy all my needs, and another part of my brain still desires sexual involvement with other women. The party did get us thinking that we should perhaps host our own party at our house - then maybe I could be the Dom and play with all the girls !!!!

I do agree to a certain extent, with Jason's analysis of my character, that Sarah could do more to enhance my cuckold journey. For example, I adore being caged, and would like to explore pegging and fluffing. It did take her a while to come round to letting me clean up and eat her lover's cum, but she backed off eventually. So there is still hope on these personal fantasies....

Back in the saddle and holding the reigns

Just over a year ago I wrote our first blog 'A New Year and back in the saddle with a bang'. It certainly seemed that way at the time, but reflecting back, we wasted way too much time on Ian. I now see that I was wrong to put all my eggs in one basket, when could have been playing. This year our New Year's resolution was to get into the swinging scene once and for all, and we would do this with or without Ian.

As with last year, 2015 most certainly started with a bang! And we thought, not only are we getting back in the saddle, but this time holding the reigns! The first weekend of the New Year found us at a private party in a hotel room, hosted by Master Jay.

Admittedly I did have my concerns as to what Jason was up to. He had become somewhat possessive recently - stalking me on Whatsapp demanding to know who I was talking to. And that's not to mention his bizarre comment about claiming me back from Mark at some point. He made no attempt to hide his annoyance when I said that Mark would be my lover. Jason was clearly regretting his matchmaking feats, but with a date already in the diary for Mark, there was nothing he could do about it. 

So we were unsure where things stood, but were delighted to be invited to one of Master Jay's private parties. Secretly I was really looking forward to seeing him again, and I wondered if he would play with me. I hoped he would, but I also worried that if this happened his claim on me would increase. I knew that if we had sex he would expect to own me.

Dale and I were the first guests to arrive at the hotel. We found Jason in the bar area. I was wearing the clothes Jason had instructed me to wear. As his kissed my cheek he moved in close, and I could tell from his body language he wanted to make me his that night. I still had my guard up so kept a polite distance. It wasn't long before two other couples arrived and two single black guys.

Jason was a perfect gentleman and host. After buying everybody drinks, we were ushered to a group of seating in a secluded corner. He instructed me where to sit, then promptly sat next to me forcing Dale and I apart. I realised he was making his claim on me for the night. But I was well out of my comfort zone, and not ready to be separated from by husband. Ever the gentleman though, Jason allowed me to swap places with him. So I ended up sitting between my husband and the host who clearly wanted me.

Master Jay was doing what he does well, and he was in his element; in charge and in control. His body language demonstrated to all that he had considered me his for the night. Fortunately, in view of the respect he seemed to command, I was confident no other guy would dare touch me without his permission!

For some time, Jason had raved on about his 'Black Bulls'. He had promised me unlimited sex with the fittest, most well hung, most energetic men in England if I were to become his subslut, but on finally being introduced to the some of them I was particularly unimpressed. Do you like that guy over there' he said nodding towards one of the black guys, who was taking an obvious interest in the new blood, clearly hoping the Master would be in a sharing mood. 'No!' I said somewhat indignantly. Jason knew very well what my type was. 'I know, that's why I invited him' he said smugly, edging closer to me on the sofa. Clearly he realised what a mistake he'd made with Mark, and would not be putting his more sophiticated Bulls in my path again. As Jason's arm snaked around me, I reminded him I that I didn't want him to own me. 'Well what makes you think I want you as my subslut?' he retorted back. Well at least that's been agreed, I thought. Whatever happens tonight, he knows he can make no demands on me.

Jason controlled the whole proceedings.  People were sent up to his room in small groups. Finally, he escorted Dale and I to the room. Never having been in this situation before I braced myself for what I might see. Action was well underway. The man who had been making eyes at me downstairs beckoned me to join in. I declined. Shortly after two other black guys and a single woman arrived not long after. Dale and I stood on the sidelines watching with interest.

Once Jason was satisfied all his guests were happy, he set to work on me. I was positioned against the wall and he started kissing me. His hands explored my body on the outside of my clothes, and fondled my breasts. His was gentle and sensual this time, very different from our more passionate kiss and grope in the pub carpark. Feeling a huge desire to give myself to this Dom Bull, I put my hands above my head to let him ravish me and do his will. When I felt his firm grip on my wrists above his head I started to move towards a submissive space. I looked over at Dale, whilst the Master kissed my neck. Dale's eyes fixated  on mine. Jason then released his grip and repositioned his hands back on my body. Slowly he moved his right hand down over my hip to my thigh, and I waited with anticipation as I felt his fingers creep higher up my skirt until he had moved my lace panties to one side. 'You're so wet' he murmured into my hair. 'You so nervous but you're wet for me' as he explored me with his fingers. Dale was watching intently. 'Tell Dale how wet you are' he commanded softly. Dale now had his hand in his trousers wanking furiously! In fact I don't think I'd ever seen him so excited.

I didn't have Master Jay's attention for long. Being the host I had to share him with the other women. He circulated the room like a feline predator, making sure each woman received equal attention. With growing sexual excitement fueled by jealousy, my eyes never left this Dom as I watched him give pleasure to other women. Jason never took his clothes off and nobody touched him, adding to his dominating mystique. His movements were graceful and he was in control reminding me of a matador. But I knew I was his girl that night. He frequently returned to me and I was the only one he kissed.

Whilst Jason was otherwise occupied, the man who had earlier invited me to join in, took the chance to make a pass at me. I declined Carl's persistent offer, but he still put his hand on my arse. I looked over at Jason for rescue, and he promptly moved over and subtly edged him out the way. Not wanting to cross with the Master, he immediately backed off. Jason sensed my anxiety. 'Don't worry' he said firmly. 'Nobody's going to touch you, I won't let them'. Jason proceeded back to kissing and playing with me, before doing his next circuit.

When I had my final turn of Master Jay, I became aware of of the unrelenting interest from the Carl. He was clearly determined for some new pussy that night. 'You're becoming such a good slut for me tonight' Master Jay murmured softly in my ear. If he'd used that kind of language by text, I would have been offended at what seemed aggressive language. But his liquid honey voice was even silkier than normal. His tone was as though he were saying 'I love you'. I wouldn't admit this to him, but I kind of liked it; it made me feel special. Carl was hovering dangerously close with his cock accessable were I to want it. 'You know this guy really wants you' said Jason softly. Carl smiled hopefully, gently stroking his cock. 'Would you like to?' Jason continued. 'NO!' I told him emphatically. 'Thats ok' he said soothingly. 'You see you had no reason to be worried. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to. I've been a gentleman all night haven't I?' That was true. He knew he could have fucked me if he had wanted to, but he knew I was starting to have sub feelings for him, and he was decent enough to not what to mess me up in the head the way Ian did. 

In the early hours of Saturday morning Dale and I said goodnight to our lovely new friends. Master Jay gave me a sensual kiss goodbye and asked if I wanted him to text me. I went to bed on an emotional high. I floated through the rest of the weekend in a delicious state of euphoria, and didn't come back to earth until Sunday night.  It had been an amazing night, and felt it reasonable to say we were definately back in the saddle for the New Year.

However, given the beginnings of a sub state that Jason got me into, there may be a question mark over whether I'm actually holding the reigns. But then isn't that the whole point of being a sub - handing the reigns over to someone else?