Fifty shades for real

I had always known Ben had it in him to be a seducer and a Dom, but it was my impatience that caused my negativity. Ben had control where I lacked, and I respected this control as an essential attribute of a good Dom. I trusted him completely that he would never hurt me physically or emotionally due to any careless or wilful act, and this trust is probably the most important starting point in a D/s relationship.

The unexpected second date took place at another rural pub half way between where we lived. We met him for lunch, and sat outside in the beer garden enjoying one of the first real hot days of summer. It started off friendly and platonic. But whilst Dale was at the bar, Ben slowly leant across the table, looked at me intently, and with deliberate precision removed a stray bit of hair from my sweater. There was a sexual charge that left me feeling flustered, and I looked down submissively. Nothing further happened upon Dale's return, but Ben had planted a seed that I knew he would come back to nurture later. I didn't have to wait long. When Dale was at the bar later, Ben swapped places and sat beside me. I felt an electric charge between us as he gently caressed my thighs. When Dale returned with another round of drinks, Ben, without batting an eyelid, continued to act like I was his girl. We finished our meals and a Dale suggested Ben come back with us - well what else could my husband do given what was developing in front of him?

Back at our house, Dale made tea whilst I sat nervously on the sofa next to my new Dom. But he made no move until Dale joined us in the lounge, then respectfully asked my husband's permission to kiss me. Ironically Ben did not ask me, but then I am the sub. I looked at Ben and waited your him to kiss me. Gently he held my face then planted the softest most sensual kiss on my lips. The control he exerted was intense and made me hyperventilate, the way I always do with a Dom. He continued to kiss me gently and sensually and I relinquished all control to him until I nearly had an orgasm! I could feel the light touches of his fingers tracing my neck as I started spiralling towards sub-space. His hand very slowly moved lower as he kissed me, lightly and sensually skimming my collar bone until his hand rested on my breast. As his hand gently fondled me I tried desperately to calm down. Relinquishing that amount of control unnerved me. 'You're wearing too many clothes' he whispered in my ear, as his pulled my sweater over my head. Then kissing my neck and tracing the outline of my more exposed breasts with one hand, he competently unclipped my bra with the other. He breathed delight as he slipped me out of my bra and cupped both my bare breasts with his hands, both deliciously receptive, before lowering his head to gently suckle on each sensitive nipple.

Inches away from sub-space I managed to regain control. I took him upstairs to our bedroom so he could make love to me. I lay back on the bed whilst he ravished my whole body with sensual kisses. I was now back in control and sub space was no longer with grasp. I this point I was looking forward to being thoroughly fucked by this fit stud. He kissed me slowly up the insides of my thighs until he reached my knickers, which he slowly removed and then continued to kiss. When he had finished preparing me with his mouth, Ben mounted me. I could feel his cock between my legs dangerously close to my opening. He continued to prod with his hungry instrument until Dale said 'condom?' Ben stopped and Dale threw him a rubber which Ben quickly rolled on before reestablishing his position on top of me. Covered up he wasted no time in plunging his big hard cock into me. Kissing me at the same time he made love to me with a need suggesting he hadn't had sex in a good while. I lifted my legs high and he adjusted his fit body so I could position my legs around his neck and enjoy his cock deeper.

After a while I begged him to take me from behind. He was soon fucking me hard on all fours. He was more dominant now, and the sensual love-making was replaced by hard purposeful fucking. At intervals he would spank my bottom hard, and I just let him do what he wanted. He flipped me back onto my back again and mounted me like a bear, grabbing hold of my wrists at the same time and forcing my arms high above my head. Pinned to the marital bed, whilst Dale stood on the sidelines with his camera, he fucked me with a supreme sense of control that I found quite an aohrodisiac. In trusting this control I allowed myself to submit again. When he thought I was obeying him, he let go of my wrists, but I yearned to touch his hard muscles of his chest and abs, and run my fingers through the thick layer of hair that covered his body adding to his manliness. In the end I couldn't resist and disobediently reached out to touch him. Within an instant he had grabbed my wrists and forced them back into place. I tried it on again a few minutes later only to receive the same reaction. There was clearly no messing with this Dom!

When Ben decided he'd had enough of fucking me, he positioned me against the wall and tied me up using the red rope from Dale's drawer of toys. The outcome was a work of art. He bossed me about during the procedure, telling me to put my shoulders back and improve my posture. I liked doing as I was told and being reduced to a childlike state - it was strangely relaxing. He then ordered me to lie on the bed where I was blindfolded and had my nipples clamped. For the next hour of so Ben completely focused on me and I selfishly enjoyed the undivided attention that I was getting from my new lover, who was insisting now that I call him 'Sir'. Still in bondage and blindfolded I experienced many sensations from tickling to whipping to stroking. I had very satisfactory red marks on my arse and boobs afterwards. 

An hour later he suddenly stopped the torment and unexpectedly removed the blindfold. 'Hello' he said in a gentle friendly manner, completely incongruous to how he'd been moments before when dominating me. I blinked in the blinding daylight of the early summer evening. Slowly as my eyes adjusted, his gentle baby face with a sweet smile came into focus. He was sitting beside me on the edge of the bed caringly tucking the bed throw around by body to keep me warm. I was released!

Introducing Ben

So after we called it a day with both Ian and Jason in late April, we managed to generate a lot of fun for ourselves during the month of May in the form of a large scale party, a house party and a visit from Jonny, as described in our recent blogs, 'the big black lie', 'the soft sweet skin of a woman', 'further desires for domination' and 'my lover in the marital bed'. What I haven't yet talked about is a Dom Bull we started communicating with in early April, whom I've briefly mentioned in the blog 'milking the fantasy'.

Dale found Ben for me. When it became evident to him that Jason was a non-starter, Dale started to look for someone else to fill that role for me. After scouring the internet, he came up with Ben, a BDSM Dom who was also very experienced on the swing scene. However Ben was different from other Dom's I had met. In contrast to the eccentric bachelors, with their odd habits and peculiarities, this Dom was a happily married man living a comparatively very 'normal' life, albeit in an open marriage. The way Ben conducted himself, communicated, made arrangements was easy and straightforward. He gave us no frustrating bullshit that we had become used to from Ian upon trying to make arrangements. And the aggressive demands and purile game-playing, that I had put up with during my envolvement with Jason, was certainly not Ben's style. I started to wonder if married men were easier to deal with, less complicated, have the same standards as Dale and myself. They don't suffer from the irritating symptoms of what I call 'bachelor syndrome'; symptoms of unreliability, disorganisation, and selfishness! 

Ben's approach, as an experienced BDSM Dom, was also different. First and foremost, he made it a priority to get to know Dale and myself intimately. He also made sure he found out from both of us what we both wanted, what he could do for us. This was surprisingly refreshing. By contrast I remember back a year ago how Ian, with whom there was on reflection a serious shortage of deep conversation, had spent months banging on about how eventually I would have several men cumming all over me. Ian didn't know me well enough to understand how horrifying I found this idea, and I didn't know him well enough to explain how I felt. He had always said I should trust him that he would only ever ask me to do something I wouldn't love. I realise now that it was wrong to trust someone who didn't take the time to get to know me properly, and that he was using his privaledged role as my so-called Dom for his own selfish desires. Jason was worse than Ian in his demands, though in Jason's defense he was the first to admit his inflexibility in his requirements for his subs, and in fairness poor communication was never the issue with him.

If I were to criticise Ben though, he was possibly too slow in his approach. He took his time in assessing us, which maybe made it harder to create the exciting tempo I had become used to in other D/s relationships. On the other hand, Dale and I had experienced first hand the disastrous effects of not taking time to properly get to know a Dom, so maybe Ben was right to foresake the blind euphoria in the first instance, in order to get it right in the long run and save people from hurt and disapointment. However I ebbed and flowed over a number of weeks as texts messages seemed to take off then hit a brick wall. I guess Ben realised the right vibe wasn't bring created, so one afternoon he phoned me. And after that phone call I realised why he was a Dom. OMG, do all Dom have that liquid honey voice that makes me weak at the knees, my mouth dry and makes me hyperventilate with excitement? I don't recall what Ben and I talked about; some of it was general stuff and some sexual. But his liquid honey voice, soft but authorative, simply made me want to submit completely to this man!

We finally met Ben for a social towards the end of April, after some weeks of communication. This  happened on the same week as our decision to call it a day with Ian and Jason, so it's possible that Ben represented a new beginning for us. Certainly in the days leading up to this new beginning, Ben had built me up to believe he would get me into sub-space when we meet for the first time. Privately I was hoping for the merciless seduction that I had craved for so long, and if that were to be achieved, sub-space was a likely outcome.

However when we met Ben for dinner in a rural pub it didn't quite go that way. He was nice, he was a gentleman, he was charming to talk to, and I was attracted to him. But he didn't take it to the next level. He listened a lot. He seemed to understand what had gone wrong with other Doms before. He was like a psychologist assessing the situation. At no point did he try to take it forward or push any boundaries. Half way through I realised with disapointment that he wasn't going to on this occasion. I guess his only intention was to find out about us, so that he could work out the best approach.

After a couple of hours he drew the evening to a close. I had finally managed to get some eye contact with him, so this was not what I wanted to hear. I was now drunk, horny and frustrated. I no longer cared about developing a D/s relationship, I just wanted a mindless foolish seduction followed by a crazy fucking by this sexy man. However Ben remained sober and in control and did not pander to my horniness. As a true gentlemen he insisted on paying for dinner, then we trooped outside to our cars. Feeling rejected I followed the men reluctantly to the carpark like a spoilt child. Ben and Dale shook hands and Dale went to open the car door. I stood in front of Ben to say goodbye.

Then he kissed me. He kissed me very gently and sensually, and the kiss was emphasized by his hand suggestively stroking the front of my neck, implying what he may like to do were he to dominate me one day. I immediately responded to the kiss the way I always respond to someone with whom I have a D/s chemistry with; I melted with ecstasy and hyperventilated as I relinquished control to my new Dom. Unfortunately that feeling didn't last, and I went home still feeling horny and frustrated and childishly annoyed that he was making me wait for the ultimate prize of true domination that I so desired. I knew really why he wasn't rushing it, and experience has told me how emotionally damaging it can be to get it wrong. But I had become addicted to being in sub-space and I wanted him to push my boundaries, foolishly not caring about the consequences.

Things went downhill a bit after that. Ben would text me giving me daily tasks to do. The tasks were always benign as he assessed how I would respond before he took his role as my Dom up a level. Unfortunately being given these instructions didn't work for me, and I started to question whether this whole thing was going to work at all. On paper, after what we'd been through he was too good to be true, but in reality every time he got me excited we would hit a dead-end. Ben realised too that text messages just didn't seem work for us. So he phoned me again, and I heard his familiar liquid honey voice of a Dom, and melted yet again.

Text messaging subsided after that phone call. We both realised that, for us, text messaging didn't have the desired effect. I also stopped worrying about sub-space. I realised I was trying too hard to create something, and that I should just let it happen naturally. Also May came with various distractions in the form of parties and new friends. Our new friend Bruce was always hovering in the background, very keen to take me on as a new sub. And old friends were also distractions; Mark made me a not unexpected offer which temporarily turned my attention away from my desire to be dominated, and our friendship with Jonny seemed to hold a lot of promise. On the other hand, Ben, due to his work and his wife, was rarely available at weekends, and as I had not at that time been intimate with him, it was easy to turn my attention to men with who I was already in a sexual relationship with.

Then just as we were starting to think Ben may have been a red herring, or perhaps something to soften the blow after Ian and Jason, he reappeared. The three of us met at short notice for lunch over the spring bank holiday weekend. It turned out to be a lot more than lunch. Read the next blog 'fifty shades for real' to find out what happened.

My lover in the marital bed

The next thing that happened was another meet with Jonny. We hadn't seen him since his party as he'd been overseas on business. But towards the end of May we arranged for him to come to our house for the evening. If he were to actually turn up he would be my first lover to come to our house in that manner. Admittedly he had been here before so it wouldn't be the first time I had him in our marital bed, as described in 'Inpromptu fun - part 2',  but that occasion had been unplanned. This time we were inviting my lover to have dinner with us at our house followed by unbridled passionate sex in the marital bed. 

I needn't have worried about him showing up, but I guess I'd been too badly burnt by Ian. Jonny pulled up in his flashy car bang on time, dressed in a crisp shirt and blazer looking every bit the former army officer. He looked so handsome, and I knew I was very lucky to have him as a lover. But it was a bittersweet moment; how wonderful it was to have this gorgeous and well-mannered gentleman come to visit, something I had long dreamt of. But it was supposed to have been Ian coming to dinner followed by making love to me in our bed. So many times we had tried to arrange, what had been Ian's idea, only to be let down time and time again. It had by comparison been so straightforward arranging Jonny; one text conversation, date put in the diary, arriving when he said he would. No bullshit, no ASAPs, no reminding or pushing. Maybe I am too harsh on single bachelors!

I was still getting ready for Jonny when he arrived, so he was chatting to Dale in the lounge when I came down. I entered the lounge wearing a mini skirt and my red heels that I knew he loved and he stood up to greet me enthusiastically. He looked delighted at what he saw. I shyly sat next to him keeping a respectable distance, and we made small talk. He asked us if we'd had much fun recently and was very pleased to hear that we had been to a few parties and had played with Alex and Laura again. It's a conversation I'm still getting used to, but that I am embracing whole-heartedly - the wonderful incestuousness of the swing scene, the lack of jealousy and pocessiveness, the complete freedom to enjoy sex with friends and share partners. Jonny didn't bat an eyelid that there had been others since him, and it was liberating. 

Jonny on the other hand had not had sex since his party a month ago, and I soon realised how he was suffering the withdrawal symptoms. I had not intended to get intimate with him prior to dinner, but the minute Dale stepped into the kitchen, Jonny was all over me with an urgency of a man who had been celebate for a month. He tugged at my top and pulled on my knickers, so horny that he couldn't make up his mind what part of my body to explore first, or what item of clothing to remove first! His breathing sounded desperate, he was a man in need of sex! Dale returned at intervals to watch and take photos. Jonny pulled me onto his lap and I straddled him in my short skirt and kissed him. He then started to calm down and focus. He removed my top then reached round and unclipped by bra. With my breasts in his face he fondled their softness as he licked the nipples.

He then reached round my behind with one hand and started to finger my pussy whilst I was straddled on him. This got him excited again and he started tugging at his flies. 'Would you like me to suck you?' I offered, noticing the hard bulge trying to get out. 'Yes please!' he breathed desperately. Trying to calm this horny man down I undid the zip of his jeans, extracted his hard throbbing rod and placed my lips soothingly over the helmet. Jonny immediately breathed a sigh of relief, and lay back into the sofa, still fully clothed, not even having removed his blazer. I didn't suck him for long, just enough to calm him down. We proceeded to undress each other and I lay on top of him with his hard cock next to my pussy. After kissing for some time with his cock prodding dangerously, he finally said 'would you like me to fuck you?' A condom was produced and he fucked me with a renewed urgency and horniness. First I rode him, then he took me over the arm of the sofa. Then Dale called us through for dinner. 

We undressed again after dinner and resumed where we had left off on the sofa whilst Dale cleared up in the kitchen. This time Jonny ate my pussy whilst pushing his cock in my face. When Dale was ready to join in we all trooped upstairs to the marital bed. More fucking took place in various positions with Dale taking photos. Later Dale joined us on the bed and I had my husband and lover pleasuring me together. Dale got out his riding crop and started to whip me as I lay next to Jonny. He then cheekily touched Jonny's hard cock with the whip, which Jonny clearly loved. So he hit harder and Jonny reacted positively again. Dale seemed to be in his stride dominating myself and my lover with his riding crop. Jonny had always said he would dom me if I wanted but I had never encouraged him. I had always known he was sub, despite his insistance that he was switch. That moment proved that he was indeed very sub, much to Dale's delight.

I decided I wanted to cum for both my husband and lover at the same time. Again something I had always dreamt about doing for Ian in the marital bed. But it Jonny who was right here next to me in the bed and not Ian - it was time to move on and have fun with those who deserved it. I removed my Rabbit from my bedside drawer, inserted it and allowed the ears to vibrate soothingly on my clit, whilst my men provided me with additional stimulation. Receiving such undivided attention from more than one person had been something I was getting very used to! Then as I approached orgasm Jonny starting wanking over me. I reached an explosive climax which Jonny looked amazed at, then he allowed himself to let go too, and shot his load all over my breasts. Well of course Dale was right in there cleaning up with his tongue.

There was a lovely after-feeling as I cuddled between the two men. It was wonderful; there was no competition for me, no jealously, no guilt. Sexual freedom when explored properly is so enormously liberating.