Sunday, 21 December 2014

Fifty shades of a cuckold

I had been somewhat surprised at Dale's initial enthusiasm to being 'owned' by Master Jay. The text chat about breeding and other cuckold fantasies I expected (he missed that with Ian gone), but I could never see Dale giving up his sexual freedom, or agreeing to humiliation. It would be only a matter of time before the alpha male in him rose its ugly head. I have endured Dale's Gemini personality on many occasions during this journey, and it only takes a smallest misjudgement, on the part of myself or the Bull, to upset him. Although Dale enjoys certain aspects of cuckoldry, he is not prepared to sit and watch his wife and her lover give him a porn show. Although that has its place, on the whole, Dale likes and expects to be able to join in at some point.

Ian, who is a very similar personality to Dale, understood him, and always made sure he was given sufficient inclusion, without interfering in my enjoyment with my lover. Dale always appreciated Ian's understanding of his complex character. However, even Ian managed to mess up - Dale had been upset with Ian instructing me to suck the guy in the club, followed by Ian having sex with me afterwards (described in 'from the frying pan to the fire' and 'badly burnt'). Ian must have gotton so excited that he forgot his manners, resulting in Dale feeling left on the sidelines, despite having the opportunity to clean Ian's cum from inside me. Therefore I could not envisage Dale sitting in the corner with a cage on watching Master Jay fuck me, or sleeping in the guest room knowing another man has taken his bed. Comparitive discussions with Ian always involved me sleeping in between my husband and lover.

During the weeks that followed, Jason and I continued to text. I wanted him to fuck me, and he knew it, but he would not do 'ordinary' sex, so I had to go without. We had agreed to stay friends and he wanted to help us find a more suitable Bull. I found myself regretting that it hadn't worked, and wondered if perhaps I should have made more of an effort, not been so obnoxious etc. However, I am aware, after my experience with Ian, how attractive something I can't have is. Jason rejection made him more desirable. However I didn't push for another chance because I knew Dale wasn't a true cuck. Jason however was absolutely insistent that Dale was indeed a true cuck, but it was my complacency, if not negativity, that prevented him fulfilling his true desires and potential in this field.  Jason claimed he knew all there was to know on this subject, and that if I fully embraced my husband as a cuckold, Dale would naturally lose interest in threesomes, sex with me, and sex with others, and be totally committed to mine and my lover's sexual pleasure. 

I repeated this theory to Dale. 'Bollocks' was his response. Dale admitted that he was prepared to explore cuckoldry to a greater level with Jason, than he had done with Ian. However he agreed with me, that for it to work, Jason had to tone it down - being told to 'fuck off' was a step too far! Also Dale had no intention of giving up swinging. And as for ceasing sexual relations with his wife - well that was a non-starter for both of us! There are many shades of grey in the cuckold continuum, and Dale's complex character does not land on solely one part of the spectrum.

Concerned that Jason thought it was me that was responsible for the relationship failing, Dale explained succinctly to Jason exactly what his interests consisted of, and that cuckoldry was only part of the story. Jason apologised to me for his mistake, and told me in the light of this information, any further communication would cause confusion. He was clearly hacked off. He said he had wanted to own us (I guess he felt there was still hope), and now it would never happen. I was upset, as since we had agreed not to continue with the D/s relationship, I had come to value his friendship. But he felt the sexual tension between us was too much, and his mind was made up.

However a week later, Jason was back in touch. It didn't take long for texting to become sexual, and after a few days it was back to normal. Once comfortable, the bad language resumed, and I respectfully requested he stop. He was insistent that this was a necessary element to a D/s relationship, and I would have to live with it. In time I would apparently understand. I suggested that he tones it down and gives me a chance to get used to it, or maybe restricts it to moments of sexual passion. He told me he will respect my hard limits (yet to be agreed), but he does not negotiate, especially on this matter. It seemed, with Jason there was only one shade of grey to describe him, and this was the darkest and most undilutable shade. But we knew that - he had warned us in the beginning, and the three of us were probably foolish to even contemplate this arrangement!

I discussed the matter of the words with Dale, and he advised me to back off on words like slut and whore; that I should take them as a compliment. So I texted Jason to say just that, on the basis that I understood that this was a vital element for him. I did say, however, that I would now like to put my hard limits on the table. He rejected my offer, saying I needed to understand him better. I don't know why I made this offer - there was no real point, as him and Dale no longer communicated. I just guess part of me hankered after what he had to offer.

The final nail in the coffin happened the same night. Jason requested a picture of my eyes. I sent him a topless picture of myself instead. He was not amused, and curtly informed me that he had immediately deleted it. He wanted one of my eyes and had not asked for a 'rude' picture. He implicated my hypocrisy at being so against bad language, but having no problem with sending a picture with my 'tits on display like a page 3 girl'!

I couldn't be bothered any more, and I've no doubt he felt the same way.  

Besides Ian and I have been texting.

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