Friday, 30 January 2015

Confessions of an Alpha Cuck (part 2) - by Dale

After revamping our profile on the swingers website, we promptly received a message from Master Jay. My first communication with him some months back had been swiftly batted away, as this master of masters clearly had little time for novices. It soon became obvious that Jason was the godfather of D/s and interracial swinging, and that if we could get in with him then we would be all set. Numerous text messages were exchanged as he tried to get the measure of us, and eventually an agreement was reached to meet for a drink.

Sarah and I were in two minds on meeting Jason. I thought I was 80% what he was looking for, however, Sarah was probably only 40% there. I felt this was something that we could pursue, but feared Sarah's argumentative nature would ruin it for us. However, collectively we were concerned that Jason was too extreme, but hoped the three of us could work together in finding a common ground to start from. How wrong we were !!

We met Jason in a pub half way between where we both lived and, as we were there first, I went to the bar to buy the first round. Jason arrived and after saying hello to me, went in search of Sarah. He was extremely courteous in his manner and very pleasant to talk to. He was not the intense hard core Dom of the texting, and we felt that maybe we'd been a little harsh in our initial assessment.

Admittedly Jason is not the kind of man I normally look to as a prospective lover for my wife. He's the same age as me, so is unlikely to be as visually pleasing or as energetic as these thirty something young studs we usually go for. And it's not just Sarah I'm thinking of - don't forget I have to watch !! However, he was an experienced Dom which was something Sarah wanted, and he knew a lot of BBCs whom he could arrange to sleep with Sarah - so not only would I get to see her with a young fit stud, but a young black fit stud !!! Everybody should be happy.

Half way through the evening, whilst I was at the washroom, Jason changed seats, so upon my return, I found him sitting next to Sarah stroking her thigh. She seemed to enjoy this. Progress was being made. The best part was when he leaned in and whispered to her "Would you like to be a black cock whore?"  I did a sharp intake of breath and felt my cock stir at this suggestion. Visions of my sweet wife on a bed being pleasured by a number of chiselled, well endowed black men..... Sadly Sarah was quick to put the damper on that fantasy !!!

I got a lot of pleasure seeing how Jason seemed to be enjoying my wife's body. It was particularly exciting to watch him put his hands on her hips are she squeezed passed him on the way to the washroom, and again upon her return. He must have liked what he felt because, whilst she was in the washroom, he told me he would come home with us that night. Sadly he immediately remembered that he had a family engagement early the next day so had to back track. As it was getting late, and there was now no fun to be had, we decided to call it a night. In the car park, and after I said goodnight to Jason, he moved in to kiss Sarah goodbye. I leant against my car and watch. The kiss lasted quite a while, and Sarah seemed to be very breathless and excited considering it was just a kids. In fact she seemed so turned that I was convinced that he was fingering her under her coat.

Text messages were flying back and forth for the rest of the weekend, but Sarah continued to be argumentative and annoying. Progress was non-existent and at times huge backwards steps were taken, as my wife refused to accept anything Jason was talking about. The main deal breaker that Jason and Sarah kept coming back to time and time again, and persistently failed to resolve was Jason's use of bad language in a sexual context. Now that Jason was considering talking us on, he had pumped up the tempo, but Sarah stubbornly dug her heels in every time he called her his slut or whore. Her unrelenting resistance, to what Jason felt was a vital element to the relationship, was clearing driving him mad with frustration. He didn't give up though - he must have been quite taken with her.

At this early stage I still hoped we could salvage something, but Sarah was ruining it. However, by the end of the weekend I too was questioning the situation. When it became clear that Master Jay does not do compromise, I had to sit back and ask myself if I was prepared to accept the level of humiliation he expected of me.  Now I don't mind Sarah teasing me a bit about her younger lovers being more virile than me, as I was that once too. But hard-core abuse just doesn't do it for me. Another question mark was his requirement of celibacy on my part. Sarah and I love each other very much, and therefore enjoy a regular and fulfilling sex life. In addition, I also look forward to the opportunity of other women as part of this journey, and Sarah would particularly enjoy watching this. Ian understood this need, and had always agreed to allow me a treat in the form of another woman as a reward for being a good cuckold. He had understood that if I gave him my wife, there had to be something in it for me. Throughout this whole process Jason could not get his head around the fact that I want to sleep with other women. I think he thought this was an impossible emotion for a cuck, and concluded that this non-textbook anomaly, must be a byproduct of Sarah not fully supporting my cuckold journey.

As I concluded in Part 1 of this series, I am an Alpha Cuck - I love to watch my wife's sexual enjoyment with others, but being forbidden any sex, and conceding all control of our sex life to someone else just won't work for someone like me. Maybe we were wrong to pursue this, given that I am not the true cuckold Jason needs. But in my defence, what he was offering definitely appealed to one part of my psyche, even though the alpha male in me could not do this 24/7. Bit by bit the situation deteriorated. Certain no go areas were entered for both Sarah and I, and the whole thing entered melt down.

In my opinion Jason is his own worst enemy, and has probably thrown away what could gave been amazing. He is still searching for his ideal cuckold couple, if such an ideal exists. Had he been prepared to meet us at the level we were at and negociate, he might have got us to a higher level eventually. Perhaps not the full package, but enough for most of his needs to be met. 

I quickly moved on and forgot all about it. We were, by this point, back in touch with Ian, and there were promises of more fun. So I couldn't understand why Sarah and Jason continued to communicate in a sexual manner. Part of Sarah still hankered after a D/s relationship with Jason, and he clearly thought there was something still there. Sarah believed Jason was regretting throwing the baby out with the bath water, and she was considering backing off on the explicit sexual language. She suspected that he badly wanted her as his sub, which she felt gave her a good chance of working something out with him. Unfortunately, by this point I'd lost interest. And this was exacerbated by the fact that Jason had ceased talking to me. He only ever texted Sarah, and whenever I tried to reach out to him, he tended to respond quite briefly, if not curtly. I was convinced he hated me, although I cannot fault how he treats me in person. Whatever the problem with me, it is quite clear that the friendship is with Sarah. I have no problem if they want to enjoy some text banter, or play in my presence at sex parties. But if I were to reconsider a more permanent arrangement, there would have to be a better connection between Jason and myself. If not then Sarah is just going to have to get over it.

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